Tim Osborn’s Blog

BEEEEEEP! Well before dawn my alarm wakes me on most Tuesdays. I hit the snooze button (best 8 minutes ever!) and tell myself perhaps the clock has malfunctioned, or I try to convince myself it is still Monday, or I just lay there and whine silently to myself so as to not wake my wife  (yes, I can simultaneously be thoughtful and have a pity party). Then I remember that six other guys are doing the same thing, but will choose to get out of bed, shower, scrape ice off their car windshields (this time of year), and make their way to some central location that has strong, hot coffee. And I while I don’t want to go, I don’t want to miss even more.

What draws us to add an extra 60 minutes to our already long work days? None of us work together,  and we span multiple industries – it’s all voluntary. In our group there are company presidents, a regional director, managers and even a back-to-college student (after being laid off). We meet because we believe we can gain from each other’s experiences, insights, and even questions. We’re united by a desire to be better. Better leaders, bosses, employees, husbands and fathers.

Leaders are often prone to isolation, frequently bearing responsibilities and stress and unsure who can be trusted. They can feel pressured to always have the right answer in hand, as if their credibility might suddenly evaporate with a display of uncertainty, or (gasp) admitted shortcomings. Eventually the inner circle shrinks and shrinks, until there are just two that remain: a leader and his shadow.

Are you trying to be the best leader/employee/etc. you can be on your own? That’s a lot of burden. Find a peer group that you trust. Reach out, start small, and find one or two others. Don’t wait for an invitation, send one. Be committed – to showing up, to being honest, to holding confidence, and to giving your best to others. The ROI is in your favor…even when the "I" means waking to beep, beep, beep at an hour typically seen only by baristas.

CJ is an eleven year-old girl on my daughter’s basketball team. While most of her teammates have played together for 4 or 5 years, it’s CJ’s first year with us. She’s also a bit short and has never played before. Skill- and knowledge-wise, she is clearly starting out behind her friends. Perhaps her opportunity to play competitive basketball had passed her by before her twelfth birthday? (”Sorry kid, but we only invest time in second graders with potential. At age eleven, there’s just not enough years left to get a good return from you. Maybe you can try chess.”) Yet everyday she brings what she can to the team: a great attitude, 100% effort at all times, and a desire to learn.

When it came time for our first game she nervously sat on the bench, draped in her uniform and watching the action with eyes as big as silver dollars. She rapidly fired many questions, yet I could tell for every one she spoke out loud there were five more that she kept to herself. In the second quarter I turned to her and asked, “CJ, are you ready to go in?” Dwarfed by the teammates on either side, she scrunched down as if she wanted to disappear, shook her head side-to-side, and timidly replied, “N-n-no. I-I-I don’t think so.”

One minute later I didn’t give her a choice, but simply said, “CJ, go check in.” (Yes, I had to explain what it meant to “check in.”) Slowly, but without delay, she stood up on her shaking legs and walked to the scorer’s table and waited. The whistle blew, the referee waved her in, and soon she was no longer a spectator, she was a player. And when she came out of the game several minutes later, she jogged to the bench and with complete boldness exclaimed to anyone within earshot, “That…was…soooo…much…fun. I love this!”

I found some good lessons in this. First, it’s normal to have some apprehension when you are attempting something new and outside of your comfort zone. If failure is only ever a remote possibility, I’m not truly stretching myself, and I’m not growing like I could be.

Second, when it’s time to check in, check in. Don’t let the fear stop you. You may think to yourself, “I’m not good at this. I need to stay in my area of strengths.” But strengths have to be developed and that means you will be weaker before you are stronger. Take comfort: what’s green is growing, but what’s ripe is rotting. It’s obvious that at age 11, it shouldn’t be too late for CJ to try basketball. Is it really too late for you to try something new?

Lastly, when you step on the court, give it your all. CJ didn’t let her actions reinforce her fear. She could have given less than her best, and her mind thought, “See, this really isn’t for me, I knew I wouldn’t be good.” But she didn’t, she did the best she could. This isn’t Hollywood, and she didn’t score 20 points and hit the game winning basket at the buzzer. She did some things ok, some things less than ok. But she learned and she was better at the end than at the start. And she had fun.

Let’s learn from CJ. After all, we don’t want to miss the opportunity to discover something that will lead us to unexpectedly and boldly say, “I love this!”